She stocked up on staples when she shopped and got more left-over dinners into the freezer. Finally, on Friday the last day of the month, Bill took her out to dinner.“Really, you know, we haven’t done this enough,” he said.“I’ll probably be cooking less.” Cooking less later on when her pregnancy was something they didn’t need a lab test to see, she meant. He understood. If it was the other unmentioned aspect of their lives, they weren’t avoiding it. It was so much in the front of each of their minds, that they didn’t have to say it. “And, anyway, we’ll need any money we can save.”“It’s not enough to make a difference, and we’ll need any Carolyn we can save more.”“I’m fine. I’ve been indulging myself.” And she would have to get back to work. Women hoed corn until their waters broke and delivered healthy kids; she wasn’t going to lie in bed for nine months. For one thing, she needed to finish the dissertation this year.“Both of us? ... You’ve been indulging both of us.” Well, it was. Amber took a deep breath and stood up on shaky legs. I am not no one, she told the frightened serving girl that lived in her mind. I am not worthless. And I would rather return to mist than be a slave for one motherfucking minute longer!She was still terrified but her hands stopped shaking. It was enough. Taking a deep breath, she steadied the platter in one hand, gripped the wine pitcher in the other, and stepped through the door onto the bridge spanning across to the roof of the slave tower.The guard patrolling the roof watched her approach. Amber offered a shy smile and glanced up from the floor. She held the platter of cups out.“The Baroness is feeling generous and bade me offer a taste of the celebration.”The man leered at her. “Just the wine or something else?”“Just wine, sir.” She replied in a soft voice. And nothing else ever again! The sudden surge of righteous anger, fierce and hot, caught her by surprise, but she welcomed it. It gave her strength Amber would not have even.
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